i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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