Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize