So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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