Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
