maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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