so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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