My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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