did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
