Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
