Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
