You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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