Midget sex pt 2 tonight
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
