Need sex. Gaining weight.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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