Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
