please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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