I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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