there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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