I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
someone owes me an orgasm
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
