I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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