I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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