Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
