Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
