God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
