i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize