Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
