I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
