Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
