I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
