So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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