If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
