Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
