If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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