i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A+ Viking dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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