we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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