This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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