yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
