Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
