Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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