Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
