I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
