I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
