Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
