I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
