He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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