OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize