drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
