Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
