Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
