do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize