and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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