Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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