gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
