my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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