Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
