wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
