Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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