i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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