whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
