Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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