he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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