my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
